confrontation buffer


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dotty jumper: Old Navy:: pink denim: thrifted and modified::
scarf: Aeropostale:: purse: Juicy Couture:: flats: Urban Outfitters::
bow: my shop
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I'm not very good at hiding my displeasure, and when I'm mad at someone, I become very sarcastic with them. I don't like to be mean, but I also don't want to be taken advantage of. So when I interact with people with whom I have nothing buy ugly things to say, I employ confrontation buffer techniques (aka sarcasm) to keep me from spouting mouthfuls of curse words.

It's not that I'm a really mean person. In actuality, it's only one person right now who's really bugging me, and that person just can't seem to get it. Whenever I become more straightforward with them, they get teary-eyed, and I feel like a bully. It's like I want to be mean, but I'm such a wuss. Help?

I'm trying to perk my mood by adding more whimsy to my outfits. Thus the colorsplosion (I realize I'm only wearing 3 colors, but that's a LOT of color for me), the dots, and the bow. It's working, I think.


29 comments:

  1. If their going to get teary eyed when you are direct with them about your displeasure then I don't think there's much you can do, unfortunately. You can console yourself with the knowledge that that polka dot top is crazy awesome!


    Courtney ~ http://sartorialsidelines.com

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  2. Sounds like you're in a hard situation. Tears are acting as their buffer, maybe they'll grow up a little and face things. My buffer is silence and/or scarkiness. I can ignore people for days [I got that from my mother]. But it's mean I know. But I do like those pink jeans, I had a pale pink pair in my teenage years and I use to practically live in them!

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  3. The colours look great together! I love the bold polka dot print on your jumper :)

    Caroline x
    Caroline's Catwalk

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  4. Love that bow! So so cute. Sorry you're having to deal with your obnoxious person. You would think if you make them so upset, they would take the hint and leave you alone! Then again I'm a weenie and would be the teary-eyed person, lol. But that's just what I do when I'm angry and punching someone in their eyeball isn't acceptable, lol.

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  5. I love the color combo - it is definitely fun and whimsy! And it seems to me the other person needs a thicker skin, but that might just be me.

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  6. I wish i could be more like you...i find it really hard to confront anybody...i prefer to hide my feelings. I think it's ok to let people know your displeasure...if it gets too overwhelming usually i would avoid that person totally. I think your outfit completely crowded out those nasty feelings....cute polka dot top and pretty pink pants and the fabulous complimentary blue hues too. As usual you make the best bows!

    Mongs
    mythriftycloset.blogspot.com

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  7. This outfit is perfection, lady!! You look fantastic. I love all of the fantastical color. I get super sarcastic when I'm angry too - it's an interesting way of coping, I guess.

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  8. I hate mean people like that. Kill em with sarcasm!
    Love all the colours especially the polka dots!

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  9. Ugggh I hate people like that! Your outfit is too cute though! I especially love the polka dotted sweater!

    http://confessionsofabeauty-holic.blogspot.com/

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  10. The shoes and the pink pants and the big yellow bow are all really amazing!
    P.S. I have been totally obsessed with CaptainAwkward.com lately, although this specific post might not help you. The website is targeted towards awkward people trying to make their social interactions less awkward.
    http://captainawkward.com/2011/11/28/question-143-i-lent-an-ear-to-a-friend-how-do-i-get-it-back/

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  11. Great use of color! I use to work with a girl who would cry every time she was confronted with something. I'm not good with crying people.. but sometimes you need to make them cry to get your point across. It doesn't make you a bully and your probably not the only person she makes feel that way.

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  12. I know what you mean about wearing 3 colours! I never EVER do that usually! But you look so cute! Love how you juxtapose the navy jumper with the pink pants! Instantly gives it a cheery lift! You look lovely!

    Gemma x

    www.gemmasatire.blogspot.co.uk

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  13. Laura, in my experience, the best way to deal with someone who's making you angry is by confronting them head on. It's best if you're able to use a kind but assertive tone but if you find the person still gets teary-eyed, that's okay. A lot of people use tears as a means of manipulation. If however, the person seems genuinely upset, then it's best to say, "I can see this is upsetting you but I have to be honest about how this is affecting me." Good luck, sister! In the meantime, you are rocking it tri-color style! Adorable! :)

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  14. That dog bow is super cute, and I like the polka dots!

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  15. If they're trying to take advantage, and a way for them to get the hint to stop is by you dishing out sarcasm then so be it. If they get teary eyed - well, did they realize that they were messing with the wrong person?? Nothing aggravates me more than people taking advantage of others who they think are "passive". I cannot stand that!! Don't even get me started....

    Christine
    dela chic

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  16. I love all the cute colors in the outfit. Blue polka dots and colored jeans look awesome together!! I'm sorry that there is someone annoying you by the way. I actually know exactly how you feel because there is someone in my life right now who's really bugging me too. I wish I could give you advice on what to tell that person I guess that person is not getting it right? Maybe a straight forward email or confrontation is the best?!! I'm confused with what to do myself so if you have any solutions I would love to hear them. Good Luck Laura!! Were here for you when you need to vent :)

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  17. Don't ask me- I have the worlds worst confrontation skills and I always get walked all over- boo! I hope you're able to stand up and say what you have to! Love the polka dots and pink and you're reminding me I still haven't worn my shop of worldly delights hairbow!

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  18. Definitely working babe! This outfit is oozing cuteness and the colours definitely cheer one up! My confrontation skills are really bad too, I'll just ignore the person. Crying meanies, that's a difficult one!

    Fang Ting
    ftashion

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  19. This outfit rocks! So fun and colorful! Love Love it! I have a hard time with confrontation. I would just avoid the person.

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  20. Oh, Laura... I should have gotten this sweater. Then I could have worn it with my pink pants and we could have had twin day!

    Be mean! Go big or go home. I'm really ruthless though, and I have such a long temper that if I'm being mean to you then you really had it coming.

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  21. girl you can pull off anything can't you?! Love the bright colours and the dottiness hehe

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  22. so cute!!! And those pink pants are fabulous! Jealous!! xxx

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  23. Like the OOTD! ... Confrontation buffer - that's a new one on me! but I got it right away & it sure fits! Sarcasm happens for me especially when the person isn't being direct with me and denies there is a problem ... if you say it, and you mean it, and you don't say it mean, you're good - sometimes people cry to deflect you from knowing their truth, from knowing that you see into them

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  24. You're as lovely as Minnie the mouse !!! Dots+pink+blue = awesome pinup !!!
    http://selenite.weebly.com

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  25. Awww...I know the feeling. I am horrible with confrontation! And I have a hard time saying what it is on my mind without it coming off too strong. But sometimes all you can wonder is...is it better to just come out and say it or play the beat around the bush game and let people's imagination run...

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  26. You're not one bit a bully! I don't dislike many people, but when I do. Holy crap, I'm a meanie. There's this one guy in my office who I hate. With a passion. And I'm so mean to him. I glare at him when he dares to come into my office. If he tries to engage me in conversation, I pick up my phone and pretend that Instagram or Twitter must get my undivided attention and I ignore him till he goes away. =) It's ok. I think there's someone like that in all of our lives.

    As for the colors here, you know I love them! There's something about that turquoisey color and pink that will instantly pick up your mood! =)

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  27. It's totally working for you, love your bangs in these pictures and the pairing of navy/pink/teal.

    I totally had the same experience yesterday, I got very snarky with a coworker because I couldn't tell her she was being rude. We all have those people in our lives unfortunately, you're a sweetheart and don't you forget it!

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  28. I know what you mean. I'm very sarcasti sometimes when I'm upset with someone. It's a really difficult situation. Sorry about that.

    Cute outfit though! Very colorful :)

    www.thejoyoffashion.blogspot.com

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  29. I rely on sarcasm like I rely on oxygen. It protects me from stupidity. It might be that I'm just an overly intolerant person but it keeps me from crushing people into little puddles because I don't actually like crushing people any more than I like being subjected to stupidity. It's a conundrum for me. If I'm in a confrontational situation with a someone that doesn't understand sarcasm I take a deep breath and try to examine whether or not I can think of a politically correct way to straightly say what I need from the individual. When they express (cry) that I may have hurt their feelings - I reassure them that I certainly am not intending to (it acknowledges their feelings and helps them feel validated) and that I really hope we can work together to correct the situation so that both of us are able to get what we need out of each other. I'm panting just from typing that run on sentence. Geez. Hope the situation clears up for both of you. Especially since you're wearing such an uplifting color combination.

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